Monday, April 2, 2012

I Never Said I Was a Science Teacher

Oh my goodness.  You know those times when you can't believe children are actually entrusted to your care?  I totally had one of those moments this week.  And let me just say, I am no stranger to embarrassing moments.  Not even a little bit.  I have so many horrendously embarrassing moments I can recount in my life, that they just stop seeming embarrassing because there's so many of them.  It becomes quite comfortably seen as normal.  Ahhhhhhh.
   So I take the kids and our dog, Boo Boo ("Boobs" for short), out for a walk nearly every day.  It's a nice break for all of us and Katherine makes sure that she fills in the quiet, nature time with incessant talking.  So, we ventured out with both kids in the stroller and Boobs on the leash.  Let me back track a little and tell you that we've been watching a chrysalis (for all you laymen out there, it's a "cocoon" for butterflies.....I think) that has been attached to a branch on the tree in our front yard for quite some time.  This one seems to have a "failure to launch" issue, as it seems like it's been there forever.  But the Howat lepidopterists (those who study butterflies) are holding strong, intent on seeing this butterfly bust out of its cozy home.  So, anyway, we start our walk and as we're trekking it on the sidewalk we come upon what looks like- could it be?!?!?- a cocoon on the sidewalk!!  What luck!  So I figure the butterfly must have busted out and the cocoon fell in the process onto the sidewalk.  Let the science lesson begin!  Eek.  I yelled to Katherine-
"Katherine! Look!  The cocoon!!!"
She got soooooo excited and hopped out of the stroller to take a look.  We both bent down towards the long, brown beautiful cocoon.   I didn't see a hole in it and started to worry that maybe the butterfly was still inside and it had gotten knocked out of the tree by a mean bird or a clumsy squirrel.  Stupid squirrel.
I rolled the cocoon over and inspected every angle for a possible "exit wound."  Nah, notta one.  Hmm......I was lost in this moment of intrigue when Katherine suddenly pipes up:
"Mom," she began, "this smells like dog poo."
"What?" I asked incredulously.
"I think this is dog poo, not a chrysalis," she states matter-of-factly.
I. Was. Aghast.
It was dog poo.
Are you kidding me?????
Katherine starts hysterically laughing and I realize it's even too late to save face.  Whatever.  Get back in the stroller, I growled.  So much for science class.  I think I have definitely sealed the deal that I will never be homeschooling our kids.  Like, EVER.  When the 3-yr old has to tell you that you're basically sticking your hand in dog poo, that's when you know your teaching days are over.
Okay, so, here's a picture of a chrysalis:
And this is dog poo:
Except that's not the dog poo that I touched.  My poo was MUCH more real looking.  And there was only one, um, stalk.  Don't even tell me you don't think that first picture looks like dog poo.  And don't even let me hear you say that the second picture does not look like the first.  If that thing was on the sidewalk, everybody would think a butterfly was about to hit them in their face.  Everybody.  Except my super smart three year old and her impeccable nose.
The moral of this story is that I need to stick with saving special needs orphans from around the world and stop talking around my kids.  So, that's what I'm going to do, people!  Okay, so, let's switch gears.
   First things first, we got Colton (aka "Hopper") to the Sizeable grants list!! Yay!!!  The Baboushkas (our pledge group- you know, like a sorority) have worked so hard and we raised enough money to get him on the coveted list.  I am so intensely honored to be in touch with so many amazing people who care about these kids.  I hope all of you who donated know how much I hold you people up and admire you.  Amazing.  So, as promised, now that we sent Hopper to the "big league", we'll start to fundraise for another cutie.  Let me say, Hopper will always be #1 in my book and I will continue to pray like the dickens that he gets picked.  But since we've put him in a position where he has a good chance to get picked, we're going to put our money on another child to help them get into a better position.  So, without further ado (drumroll please), our new little cutie-patootie that we will be fundraising for is...............
Couldn't you just tickle him to death?  Look at those flashy overalls!  My, my Ruslan, you are too cute for words.  As I've said in a previous blog, my poor Ruslan has already been transferred to the institution- but they have kept him open for adoption nonetheless!  A blessing in and of itself!  Ruslan will turn TEN this November.  And has no idea what a family is (sniffle, sniffle).  He has Down Syndrome and is positive for Hepatitis B.  But, you know what?  I know all that doesn't matter to some families.  You could put that he has three heads and does nothing but spit and SOME FAMILY- SOMEWHERE- would pick him.  It's just how amazing people are.  So, I know, that some family out there is not intimidated by Down's and Hep B.  And we're going to fundraise for Ruslan like it's his birthday until that fabulous family comes along and scoops up this little boy and teaches him the love of a mom and dad.  That's my dream for you, Ruslan!  That you know, even before you lay your sweet head on the lap of Jesus in heaven, that some human being loved you as their own.  I believe in you, kid.  
    And, as always, if you are interested in joining our super-exclusive Baboushka group, all you have to do is say the word!  You can pledge $5, $10, $50- WHATEVER.  We're not extremely, you know, picky.  One day a month we load on the love for a special kid and get the joy of watching his fund virtually explode.  And, get this- we even take MEN!!  Yes, even though I have YET to have a member of the male gender ask to be a part of our group, I know that God, indeed, does work in the hearts of those with XY.  I just know it.  If you would like to change the course of history and be the first male member of the Baboushka group, well, I know the ladies would welcome you.  Wouldn't we, ladies?


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