Monday, October 10, 2011

My Pleasing, Psychopathic Personality

Ok, seriously, next post is going to be about something really great regarding my winning persona.  I feel like I've given myself several virtual right-hooks with some of my previous posts.  Nevertheless, I just couldn't resist one more dig at myself :)  By the way, the comics on here really have nothing to do with the subject matter of this week, I just really liked them :)
    If you're friends with me on Facebook, you may already know about the results of the Myers-Briggs personality test I took a short time ago.  For those of you not on Facebook, let me indulge you.  Cory is currently in grad school and one of the assignments a couple of weeks ago was to complete the Myers-Briggs personality test.  So, he did it, and shared with me the result: ENFP.  Unless you are very familiar with this test, you may not know that ENFP basically means you are a magnificent, charming, sparkle-in-your-teeth type of person.  And he is. So, since Cory got such an awe-inducing result with the test, I decided I could use a little pick me up during James' morning nap.  I don't know what exactly it meant that it took me three times to complete the test because I got so bored with it.  I should have known that was probably a warning sign that this thing was going to spiral downwards.  I took one of the tests online and got an INTJ.  'Hmmm....,' I thought, "what's that?"  While my lovely husband's label for an ENFP is "The Inspirer" (ok, as if that's not great enough right there), mine came up "The Scientist."  WHAT?!?!?  The SCIENTIST?? For crying out loud, I hate science!  It didn't start out well.  It didn't end well.

  Cory is apparently a 'warm, affectionate, enthusiastic' person while I give off an 'aura of arrogance.' Thank you.  It said I thrive on organization, which means I must be near death because I can't even find my keys at the moment.  INTJ's are also known to be 'perfectionists.'  Good Lord.  In relationships, we tend to struggle because we don't know how to flirt.  Gee whiz.  Of course, Cory came to my defense, being that he IS an ENFP and all.  ENFPers, apparently, are so great they even comfort those of us who are scrounging at the bottom of the personality trash can.  He challenged me to look at the bright side of my frighteningly-dull character.  We are supposed to be "ambitious and self-confident."  Hmmm....I even disagree with the parts that are supposed to be good about myself.  Plus, it irritated me that "ambitious and self-confident" are probably code words that actually mean we give off an incredible strong "aura of arrogance."  What on earth do we have to be arrogant about?
   To top it off, the website gave numerous examples of people with your same personality.  I did do a complete, internal cheerleading routine when I saw C.S. Lewis in my miserable group.  He WAS an amazing Christian thinker and writer.  Maybe this isn't so bad, I thought.  Then, a couple of lines down, it gave Hannibal Lector as another example of an INTJ.  Hannibal Lector.  Yes, the cannibalistic psychopath.  Do they list such people to humble you in case you did an internal cheerleading routine when you read C.S. Lewis?     So, we might be deep, thought-provoking writers or we might just slide right into barbarism.  Or maybe its just that if I'm having a good day I resemble Mr. Lewis, and a bad day?  Well, Mr. Lector, of course.

   Naturally, Cory and I discussed this at length.  Although, I have to admit, everything he said during that conversation was leading me to think the whole time, "Of course you would think that, you're a marvelous ENFP!!"  One of the more interesting facts we both agreed on, though, was that no matter what personality you have we all have our strengths and weaknesses.  No matter how lovely the description of an ENFP is, if we were all ENFP's we'd drive each other crazy.  I can imagine that those who cannot wait to talk to anyone and everyone would get intensely irritated if everyone else in the world loved to talk just as much as you.  Then, who would listen?  Bring in the INTJ's!! We'll listen!  We may eat you when you're through talking, but hey, we listen.  And need we say what would happen if we were all INTJ's.  Apparently, we'd have complex, profound conversations followed by ghastly barbecues.

   I've thought about this so much lately.  That the very thing that can totally annoy me about someone else, is also the very quality that makes them wonderful at the same time.  Sometimes people can annoy you because they're too controlling, but that same quality usually means they're very dependable and will help in a moments notice.  Some people may be too laid-back for your liking, but that same trait makes them good listeners or comforters in the rough times.  Cory and I strive to see this in one another. Sometimes where our personalities differ can be annoying in one another but, at the same time, the very reason we love one another.  The intense part of his personality can rub up against the laid-back part of mine.  But that intensity is the same part of him that does the dishes when I'm wiped out and takes both kids to the park to play for hours so I can get stuff done. The part of me that totally does not even see the dust bunny running alongside our baseboard in the hallway can probably totally annoy Cory sometimes.  But it's the same part of me that he loves that doesn't get too uptight and run our house like a navy ship.  Of course, we all strive hopefully for the middle.  Where I notice most of the dust bunnies and still don't grab a whistle to get control.  But that, my friends, is what marriage and friendship and every other relationship is all about.  Being able to see the good qualities in other people and being patient with the negative ones.  Understanding that we all have our highs and lows.  We're all wounded people looking for a little gentleness in life.  Thank God we all have different personalities.  If we could only learn to appreciate in others what is so different from ourselves.  THAT would be an amazing personality.


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